


Roslyn

by Marvel_My_Savior



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Character Death, Depression, F/F, Suicide, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 09:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20225836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvel_My_Savior/pseuds/Marvel_My_Savior
Summary: Wanda is gonna commit but Natasha won't let her go without a fight





	Roslyn

**Author's Note:**

> This will include suicide and references to depression and anxiety. If you cannot handle that then please don't read for your own sake.
> 
> Also, I did not proofread so I apologize in advance for any possible mistakes you may find.

**Up with your turret. Aren't we just terrified?**

Wanda stood atop the tower staring at the racing traffic below. Car lights separated from the streetlights only because they zoomed past. Even from this high up, she could hear horns honking and the sound of engines. Her breath was steady and producing small white puffs. She'd lost so much at this point that she couldn't even think properly. Her home, her parents, her normal life and her brother had all been taken from her. She was trained, tortured and even fought for the wrong side for who knows how long just to get revenge on an innocent man. It all hurt so much to think about. She still had night terrors about it all but most recently they were consumed by Pietro. Almost every night she was waking up crying, screaming, and feeling so small. So lost in this world. Most nights Natasha would be there shaking her awake and comforting her. She let a tiny smile tug at her lips when she thought of the soft redhead assassin. However, she couldn't do this anymore. The screaming and seeing Pietro dying over and over. The scared nights alone with no one. All the horrible thoughts and memories that replayed in her mind like a broken record. She was too weak for this world. Before she could get to what she came up to do, she sensed a presence that she was very familiar with.

"Wanda?" Natasha's voice cut through the sound of organized chaos below, "Hey, what are you doing up here?" Wanda could feel and hear her moving closer causing her to turn around.

"Please go away," Wanda felt her voice wanting to be quiet and crack but she held it together. Natasha stopped moving once she was about five steps from her.

"Wanda. You weren't on your floor and F.R.I.D.A.Y. told me that you were up here. What are you doing?" She just stared at Natasha prompting her to try again. "Please, Wanda tell me what you're doing." Wanda took a deep breath in and saw the white cloud of air that left her when she released it into the cold. 

"I can't do it, Nat. I can't it's too much. The night terrors and the battles. You have to understand I can barely find piece. I get anxious when Tony gets too close to me and I just feel so empty all the time. Please don't try and stop me," Her voice cracked when she said please but she held back any tears. She watched as Natasha's face changed from curiosity and worry to what she could only describe as pure terror. It only lasted for a second before she put on a calm face and shuffled a little bit closer.

**Shale, screen your worry. For what you won't ever find.**

"This isn't the way to find it," Natasha had a face of calm but Wanda could feel the fear and worry coming off of her. It made her feel worse knowing that Natasha was gonna have to be here for this.

"I can't find it here either so why not try?" Wanda looked off to the side and then at her feet. 

"You can't find it ever," Natasha spoke softly.

"Thanks because that helps me so much," Sarcasm laced Wanda's response. She could tell that Natasha didn't seem to mind. Hell if the current situation was different she might have even smiled at it.

"I mean that if you're looking for a life of joy and happiness it won't happen. Because life does suck Wanda but some things make it worth living. Movie nights with the team. Watching Steve and Thor fumble with modern technology, laughing at how weird stark's kid Peter is. Most of all waking up and knowing that all of us have your back. I've got your back too and I'm not going anywhere," Natasha reached out her hand but Wanda avoided it. "You can't stress over finding something that isn't gonna be there and it's not gonna be down there either." 

Wanda felt a part of herself want to move away from the edge. But she used her self control to stay rooted to the spot. She could feel all of Natasha's emotions but none of them were frustration or anger. That surprised her that someone could deal with this situation and feel no negative emotions towards her. Still, she felt as though the ledge was calling her name. Begging her to jump off of it and meet whatever happens after death. 

**Don't let it fool you. Don't let it fool you, down. **

Wanda desperately just wanted to give into her thoughts. Let them pull her towards her grave. Maybe her thoughts were right to do so. She was practically living from anxiety attack to anxiety attack. Moments where she couldn't breathe and felt as though the world itself might end. Might just collapse and swallow her whole. And maybe death wouldn't grant her happiness but it would let her never have to relive those times again.

"It's best if I do this. I don't want to live alone in my own fear," She finally looked back up to make eye contact with Natasha. 

"Don't think like that."

"Like what?"

"Don't think that you are ever alone. We've all lost things here and we know what it's like to live in fear. Sometimes fear that today was gonna be our last. I know it's hard but you don't give up because if we just gave up, if we just left the world without so much as a goodbye, then all these people who look to us for strength will have nothing. Our friends would be devastated. I know it's easy for you to leave but this wouldn't be something that I would ever forget," Natasha's eyes were soft and welcoming. It's like they were trying to tell Wanda to please listen. Listen to what I'm saying and understand. She knew that the other Avengers had suffered as well. She felt selfish for forgetting and thinking she was the only one. At the same time, not everyone had to be a public figure and an inspiration. In her opinion, she wasn't much of one anyway. And yeah they had suffered but perhaps they were just stronger than her. 

"I can't go back Natasha," She finally broke and let tears make their way down to her chin. She stepped back just a little bit and turned to look over her shoulder. Traffic still moved below and lights still illuminated the ground.

**Sea and the rock below. Cocked to the undertow.**

Natasha moved closer but Wanda moved further away and turned back around to stare at the ground below. How loud it must be for noise to reach them this high. Angry drivers honked still at each other and she could imagine them flipping the bird out their windows. New York City gas and smog could be smelt in the air as well.

"Wanda. Move away from the ledge. Please, little witch." Wanda felt her heart swell and break at the nickname that had been gifted to her. She felt Natasha's hand lightly land on her shoulder and tug back trying to get her to follow. Her heart broke even more as she swatted the hand away and turned to look at Natasha over her shoulder.

**Bones, blood, and teeth erode. With every crashing node.**

She had felt her life had been spent. At this point, it was just wasting away and withering to nothing. Natasha pleaded her with her eyes but she couldn't listen.

"I'm so sorry Natasha," tears spilled as she stuck her foot out.

"WANDA-" anything else she said was cut off as she took the final step and fell off the edge. She felt her body hit the Avengers logo on the way down. She imagined that she was internally bleeding now and the pain confirmed it. Suddenly her mind raced.

**Wings wouldn't help you. Wings wouldn't help you, down. Down towards the ground, gravity smiled.**

Memories flooded her head as she felt air drowning out any sound. She was a kid and with her family. Pietro smiled at her. The bombing, living on her own with her twin, the experiments, Ultron, the avengers, Pietro's dead, and finally Natasha. She saw herself laughing with her brother and the Avengers. Movie nights filled with her asking questions quietly to Steve or Natasha. The times Pietro stole so they could eat or so she could have something new. She felt the bombing and Pietro's death all over again. The pain of first getting her powers and learning to use them. Waking up next to Natasha and feeling her arms wrapped around her. Peter's laugh that reminded her so much of Pietro. All of this in seconds and she felt regret creep into her. She couldn't go back and before she could even try to save herself, she felt her body smash into a car and then onto the ground below.

**You barely are blinking. Wagging your face around. When'd this just become a mortal home?**

She could her cars stopping and people screaming. Her ears rang and buzzed while she was able to open her eyes just a little bit. She regretted doing it. Her life was so filled and she knew that this was the end. She felt blood seeping out of her and could just barely hear people yelling for help. She tried one more time to move but her body stayed still and she could feel her vision closing in. Natasha was up at the top and she had seen Wanda do it all. She felt as though she let all the avengers down. Maybe it was a good thing that she was gone then. But she was gonna miss it all now that she was reminded of it all. Her eyes slowly closed as she pictured the two people who mattered the most to her. One she was hopefully gonna see soon and another she would never see again. She hoped she was gonna meet Pietro but she wouldn't ever see Natasha again. All her pain went away as the last light faded away.

**Won't let you talk me. Won't let you talk me, down. Will pull it taut. Nothing let out.**

Up above Natasha fell to her knees and held her stomach as she saw Wanda plummet to the ground. She saw the lights of cars around her stop moving. After a few seconds, she also heard the faint sound of an ambulance approaching. She couldn't find the will to care. They couldn't save her just as Natasha couldn't. She could only watch as Wanda left her forever. She wasn't even able to talk her out of it either. She wasn't able to convince her to stop and come back inside and downstairs with her. Wanda didn't even let her help either. Natasha stared blankly at the ground below and for once in a pretty long time, she cried.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I know I left out the lines "Dancing around, folds in the gown." But I couldn't really think of anything good to go with it. This is a really good song hence the reason it inspired me to write this. I'm also having serious writer's block for But I'm A Cheerleader but hopefully I'll update that soon.


End file.
